First Rule of Networking

Not another '1st Rule'?

Yep, because I see this so often that I feel it has to be written again.

Having belonged to various networking groups, all of them being based on the concept of getting referrals, I have often met with people that are new to networking.

The smart folks ask the existing members to explain the concept of referral networking, but some figure they have been around in business long enough to know how to network effectively.

So, what is the first rule of referral networking?

Easy: The last thing you want to do is SELL!


Maybe that answer is not what you expected? So let me explain why I believe it is so important.

The basic concept of referral networking is to build relationships with others that will lead to you getting referrals. It's not SELLing your products or services to those fellow networkers!

If you build a good relationship with another networker, then they are more likely to refer business to you. But similarly, you are more likely to refer business to them!

Notice, that in both of those cases, neither you nor the other networker sold any business to each other!

However, even though it seems pretty obvious when you read it, it's not so obvious in practice.

How often have you seen a guest at a networking group trying to SELL their products or services to the group members? Probably too often.

So what is the right way to address the need for sales to the members of a referral networking group? It's simple: LISTEN - ASK - LEARN - REFER!

• Listen: (Unless they are trying to SELL to you!) 
• Ask: about what they do, what they specialize in, what kind of customer they are looking for.
• Learn: how you can help them grow their business and how your client base matches theirs.
• Refer: Find one of your clients that you can refer to the other networker (but not until you have established a good relationship, you do not want to give a referral to someone that is flaky!

It's pretty obvious that you cannot safely give a referral unless you know that the recipient will treat your referral with the respect it deserves. If you pass one of your clients as a referral and that client is not dealt with  in a satisfactory manner, it not only sours the relationship (was there one?) with the other networker, but it could also sour the relationship between you and your client.

So if rule #1 of networking is "Don't try to sell!" what's rule #2

Rule #2: Never give a referral without discussing it with the referral first!
Just think about it. You have known Jane Dough for years and she has often done business with you. You tell a recently met networker, Doug, that he should contact Jane Dough. He does, and Jane wonders who the heck is this calling me for my business?

That scenario makes you look bad to your client Jane, it makes Doug look bad to Jane, and you look bad to Doug! Everyone loses!

Instead, if you think that Doug has some product or service to offer Jane, then ask Jane if you can give Dough her phone number. Now, when Doug calls, it's not a cold call, and things can go much better for everyone.

I would cover the many other rules of networking, but it's nearing the new year! I have to keep something warm for the start of the new year!

So happy new year one and all.
Have a Happy and Prosperous 2011.